What was going on when I was born?

MAYBE it was because they were all starting out fresh. One couple had recently married and had just bought a duplex. Another had just divorced, and she got the art and a new apartment. And one executive, who had just begun a business, found a perfect, if small, studio right around the corner from her new shop. All of them chose to break with the past and to experiment in their new dwellings with floor plans that did the same: floor plans that called for a new kind of furniture, a solitary unit combining various functions and positioned in the middle of the room. These custom-made structures served not only as a focus for living but as a kind of psychological anchor for their new beginnings. That's the way, at least, that Penny Davidson, the owner of the Manolo Blahnik shoe store on Madison Avenue, described it.

In this grim manufacturing city, the Polish Manchester, as it is called, with its red-brick textile mills and tenements that spawned strikes a century ago, about 4,000 students are sitting in at the university. With the paraphernalia of protest -sleeping bags in the corridors, sausages hanging from coat-rack hooks and a cheap press to crank out a list of demands - they are out to change the way education is run in Poland. The protest, now in its fifth day, appears to be growing. Nine out of the 12 buildings at the 7,000-student university are occupied, so instruction has virtually come to a halt. The nearby Polytechnic and the Medical Academy have joined in. And student delegations have arrived from the Roman Catholic University of Lublin and the state universities in Wro@claw, Warsaw and Gdansk to show solidarity and, perhaps, to spread the message of revolt back home.

President Reagan ended controls on domestic oil and gasoline production and distribution, effective immediately, in a move that is expected to lift gasoline prices. The Administration said, however, that gasoline prices at the end of the year would be no higher than they would have been if the controls had been allowed to expire as scheduled on Sept. 30. (Page A1.) The oil industry hailed the move, but small refiners and gasoline distributors said they feared deregulation could drive them out of business. (D6.) New Jersey's Energy Commissioner said decontrol would ''fan the fires of inflation.'' New York State's Energy Commissioner said it should not be an excuse for ''inordinate'' price rises. (B12.) In New York, decontrol could make moot a Federal lawsuit brought by oil companies against the state's tax on their gross receipts. (B13.)

Other fashion designers may try to find out what their competitors are doing so they can stimulate their own ideas. If Yves Saint Laurent cares at all - and there is no indication that he does - it is so he can do something different. His major contribution to the couture fashion scene for spring and summer is to make classic spring clothes. You know, navy blue suits, toppers, some good looking coats - the kind of thing hardly anyone pays much attention to any more. It is something of a bombshell when a spring suit means, to so many designers here, a rajah jacket and jodhpurs.

In a marked shift of position and tone, Gen. David C. Jones of the Air Force, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, vigorously urged Congress today to give top priority to building a new strategic bomber. General Jones said the need was urgent. ''Deploying a new manned penetrator should be a top priority among the new strategic initiatives that we need to pursue in the days ahead,'' he said, adding that such an aircraft would be able to penetrate extensive Soviet defenses. In a report to Congress last year, however, General Jones, the nation's senior military officer, had said, ''Over the longer term, I believe we must continue with the development of a manned penetrating aircraft to succeed the B-52.''

Secretary of State Alexander M. Haig Jr. said today that no military equipment or spare parts would be provided to Iran, and he urged American companies to exercise ''the most careful caution'' before resuming trade with Iran now that sanctions have been lifted. In his first news conference since taking office, Mr. Haig adopted a harsh public attitude toward Iran, without specifically undoing any of the arrangements News conference excerpts, page A10. worked out by the Carter Administration to obtain the release of the 52 American hostages. He said the terms of the accord were still under study.

A surge in oil imports aggravated the nation's trade deficit in December, but the overall deficit for last year narrowed from the 1979 figure, the Commerce Department reported today. December's seasonally adjusted trade deficit was just under $3 billion. This was $1.3 billion more than in November, reflecting a jump of about $1.4 billion in the deficit for petroleum products, department officials said.

The much-criticized home-purchase component of the Consumer Price Index will be deleted and will probably be replaced with an estimate for rents, Janet L. Norwood, the Commissioner of Labor Statistics, announced today. The most probable effect of such a change, which is scheduled to occur in 1985, would be to slow the rate of increase in the overall index, according to Patrick C. Jackman, the official in charge of assembling the index each month. That could mean smaller pay increases in those Federal benefits, such as Social Security, and government pensions that are tied by law to the index.

Chemical weapons and munitions dating from World War I are buried at the former Raritan Arsenal, now a major office and industrial park, according to the Army, which says it is restudying its records to see if six disposal sites at the park pose any threat to the public. The management of the industrial park, Raritan Center, which has 150 corporate tenants, denies any danger. The management insists that it had five of the six disposal sites privately cleared years ago. The Army, which remains legally liable in case of any accident, says it has no record of such private decontamination. The 2,400-acre property, along the Raritan River in Edison Township, about five miles east of New Brunswick, was auctioned by the Government for $2.8 million in 1965, two years after an Army ordnance unit cleared most of it of extensive contamination. The deed of sale listed six areas of remaining contamination, fenced in with warning signs.

Salvadoran spreads word abroad: back the rebels A2 Poor Filipino farmers being killed after trying to improve life A3 Jamaican leader is Reagan's first foreign visitor A3 Females impersonates Times man in Peking A3 Lebanese leader urges Islamic na- tions' help against P.L.O. A5 Around the World A9 Excerpts from Haig's news con- ference A10 Indonesia has little hope of finding more ship survivors A11 Iranian calls on U.S. to produce proof hostages were abused B10 Government/Politics House Democrats are accused of 'power grab' A14 Reagan seeks an increase in the national debt limit A20 Army checking old Raritan Ar- senal dumping site for hazards B1 Revamped development unit on altered but ambitious course B1 City to shift traffic enforcement duties to police officers B3 Democrats vote to abolish Scheuer's subcommittee B3 Carey stumping to sell his $16.2 billion budget to public B11 General Leslie H. Gelb rejoining The Times A8 Around the Nation A14 A difficult day for Harris trial spectators B2 The Region B4 Freed hostage is greeted by '100,000' welcomes B8 Former hostages say visiting clergy made captivity worse B9 City prepares official welcomefor former hostages B10 Former hostage from New York City returns home B10 Television coverage of hostages' return was extensive B10 The Home Section Home Furniture takes center stage C1 Framers putting more empha- sis on preservation of art works C1 Celebrating breakfast in uphol- stered beds C8 Tunics sharpen up a classic collec- tion from Saint Laurent C1 Hers C2 Helpful Hardware C2 Home Beat C3 Programs to develop skills of fa- therhood C3 Home Improvement C4 Calendar of Events C5 The jade plant flowers: blossoms take weeks C7 Design Notebook C10 Horace Mann tutors public school pupils C11 Energy Jersey Energy chief says oil decontrols will fuel inflation B12 Lifting of oil controls may make moot a suit on New York tax B13 Obituaries John Gerber, inventor of a con- tract bridge convention B14 Religion Billy Graham warns on threat of a renewed arms race A14 Arts/Entertainment Lily Tomlin riding high as a 3-inch doll in film C13 Nostalgic "Five O'Clock Girl" opens at the Helen Hayes C13 A busy year lies ahead for Leon- ard Bernstein C14 Choreographers who 'improve' classics find it tricky business C14 Musica Sacra in premiere of Hov- haness's "St. Paul" C14 City Ballet in "Kammermusik No. 2" and "Other Dances" C15 Bailey's memoirs, "America, Lost & Found," reviewed C17 "Toyota Invasion," documentary on the car maker, on CBS-TV C18 B13 Larry Kert and Mimi Hines sing Rodgers and Hart C20 Sports Plair, St. John's sixth man, keys victory over Niagara D18 Celtics beat 76ers, 104-101 D19 Kallur scores 2 as Islanders beat Maple Leafs, 6-4 D19 Kush's lawyer challenges Rut- ledge on camp incident D19 Einhorn: Prospective White Sox owner D19 Dave Anderson on Joe Kuharich D20 Gottfried ousted in U.S. Pro In- door tennis tournament D21 Blind youths take game of basket- ball seriously D21 Penguins down North Stars, 3-1 D22 Features/Notes Notes on People B6 Going Out Guide C16 Editorials/Letters/Op-Ed Editorials A18 Decontrol oil; but what then? Thoughts on second opinions Trunnion troubles Letters A18 William Safire: tainting Carter's Good Deed A19 Anthony Lewis: corn's success story in Zimbabwe A19 Claudia Wright: the Saudi leader- ship's stances A19 Larry McCoy: a neon sign on the South Lawn A19

The former American hostages fanned out across the nation yesterday to their homes in small towns and cities, and everywhere they were greeted as V.I.P.'s and heroes, with cheering crowds, brass bands, motorcades, champagne and red carpets. In Norfolk, Va., residents planted a tree on the courthouse lawn in honor of Donald A. Sharer, a Navy pilot whose duties in the American Embassy in Teheran were never disclosed. In Phoenix, Gov. Bruce Babbitt was waiting with a state plane to fly Sgt. James M. Lopez of the Marines and his family to their home in Globe, Ariz. And on Interstate 80 in West Sacremento, Calif., townspeople greeted Donald R. Hohman, an Army medic, with a giant billboard emblazoned: ''Donald Welcome Back to Freedom!'' ''This is the real homecoming day, coming back to your home neighborhood,'' L. Bruce Laingen, the boyish-looking 58-year-old deputy chief of mission when the embassy was seized, told a crowd of about 200 neighbors from the front steps of his home in Bethesda, Md.

Ending their two-year feud, the Kennecott Corporation and the Curtiss-Wright Corporation announced jointly yesterday that they had signed an agreement providing that neither would attempt to take over the other for the next 10 years. Kennecott, moreover, got Curtiss-Wright's pollution-control subsidiary, Dorr-Oliver Inc. The two companies also agreed to swap the shares each holds in the other. The overall agreement between the two companies was valued by both sides at $280 million. Later, in separate interviews, T. Roland Berner, the 70-year-old chairman of Curtiss-Wright, and Thomas D. Barrow, 56, chairman of Kennecott, applauded the settlement. Each vowed that he held no animosity toward the other.