What was going on when I was born?

The Federal Trade Commission today dropped its broad antitrust case against the nation's eight major oil companies, saying further proceedings in the eight-year-old case "are not in the public interest." The case has made little progress since the commission issued the complaint in 1973, charging "collusive action" by the companies . F.T.C. lawyers said in June that the trial co uld not begin for at least three years. "While the length or complexity of litigation does not in itself constitute a basis for dismissal, the circumstances of this proceeding, including the limited progress of litigation, call for this result," the F.T.C. said.

A senior Administration official said today that, although Pakistan had refused to foresake its nuclear development program, its leaders ''totally understand, without a doubt,'' that a nuclear detonation could cost the Pakistanis the $3.2 billion aid package just agreed upon with the United States. Under Secretary of State James L. Buckley said that, even though the Administration was asking Congress to waive the law that bars aid to Pakistan because of its unmonitored nuclear program, the Administration ''is firmly committed'' to halting the spread of nuclear weapons to countries such as Pakistan. He made the statement in testifying before the House Foreign Affairs Committee on the sixyear package. Assurances by Zia Cited Mr. Buckley said President Mohammad Zia ul-Haq of Pakistan had given him assurances that Pakistan would not develop nuclear weapons but had refused to rule out developing the potential to explode a peaceful nuclear device. Any such explosion, Mr. Buckley said, would be regarded by the United States as tantamount to nuclear weapons testing.

''It may be easier to cut off the head of the Federal Reserve, but when you have the Federal Reserve running around headless, you'll still have the same problem you started with.'' -Paul A. Volcker, chairman of the Federal Reserve Board. (A1:4.)

New York state and city officials are increasingly realizing that they must shift their emphasis from building new projects to restoring their existing transportation, water and other basic facilities if their economies are to survive. That assessment was driven home today by economists and public officials at the opening of a two-day conference here intended to focus attention on a growing public crisis: that many of the basic facilities provided by government, constructed in the early part of the century or before, are rapidly reaching the end of their useful lives. The conference was called by Speaker Stanley Fink of the State Assembly, a Brooklyn Democrat. He described the condition of New York's physical plant as ranging from ''very bad to worse.''

SHE thinks he is not attentive enough. He finds her impossible to please. She contends that all she wants is someone to talk to about her troubles. He knows that she really needs much more than that. She suspects he is only in it for the money. He wishes she would realize that a man has to eat. She does not trust him. Without her trust he can't perform. In the end they will probably part amicably, but, in the meantime, they will hurt each other and violence may even cross their minds. Ill-fated lovers? Not at all. He is a decorator and she is his client. It is no one's fault, really - just that the relationship between designer and client is bound to be tense at times. Consider what the client is buying: a home that says, in the most flattering terms possible, ''This is me.'' And consider what the designer has to sell: Taste, in all its subjectivity. And, then consider the cost. ''They want your money and your life,'' said Stephen H. Schwartz, a lawyer who signed up and discharged several designers before decorating his own apartment. ''One was pushing platforms, another was selling tradition. They all wanted to do what they wanted to do rather than help me do what I wanted.''

Paul A. Volcker, chairman of the Federal Reserve Board, counseled Congress today to get on with further spending cuts as the best way to shrink the budget deficit and bring down high interest rates. Mr. Volcker rejected suggestions by some Democratic senators that Congress raise taxes now to reduce the deficit, despite the Administration's sweeping new law lowering tax rates. Nevertheless, he said that ultimately this course might be necessary. ''The economy will function better at a lower level of taxes and a lower level of spending,'' the central bank chief said during three hours of testimony before the Senate Budget Committee.

Two paternal stepcousins of Howard R. Hughes were certified today as the last heirs to his fortune, but the judge said it could be a decade before any of the 22 heirs became rich. Probate Judge Pat Gregory ruled that Avis Hughes McIntyre and her late brother, Rush Hughes, were heirs to the billionaire's uncle, Rupert Hughes, although they were never legally adopted by him. Mrs. McIntyre, 81 years old, said Rupert Hughes essentially reared her and her brother and allowed them to use his name.

Secretary of Defense Caspar W. Weinberger has suggested to President Reagan a gradual approach to deployment of the MX missile and other new arms to strengthen the nation's strategic deterrent, Administration officials reported today. The officials said that, more for political and technical reasons than for fiscal ones, Mr. Weinberger had recommended that the Administration remain flexible rather than commit itself to plans of very long range for the new weapons. His suggestion came in the wake of the struggle in the Administration over the military budget. The officials said the Administration still planned a weapons package that would include the MX intercontin ental ballistics missile, a new bomber capable of penetrating defenses of the Soviet Union, advanced missiles to be launched from submarines and, particularly, a modernized and protected comm unications network to control the nuclear arms.

The American Telephone and Telegraph Company yesterday reported a 22.3 percent rise in third quarter net income - its strongest quarterly increase in the past three years. The company said business growth and record rate increases had contributed to the rise in profits. Net income for the third quarter, which ended Aug. 31, rose to $1.93 billion from the $1.58 billion reported in the third quarter of 1980, the company said. Earnings per share rose only 12.2 percent, to $2.39 from $2.13, because of an increase in the number of shares outstanding, to 763,791,000 from 710,119,000.

The Senate took an important step today toward passage of severe restrictions on school busing for racial integration by voting to end a three-month filibuster against the legislation. The bill must still travel a long and tortuous path before it becomes law, and critics of the proposal vowed to use Senate rules to continue their fight. But the vote to end the filibuster, which carried by 61 votes to 36, clearly indicated that a majority of the Senate was ready to end busing as a means of achieving racially balanced schools. 'Social Issues' Loom The vote also indicated that conservative lawmakers were increasingly eager to force Congress to confront the so-called ''social issues,'' including busing, abortion and school prayer. Senate leaders have tried to keep these issues off the floor while Congress dealt with President Reagan's economic program, but Senator Howard H. Baker Jr. of Tennessee, the majority leader, has said that he could not withstand the pressure indefinitely.

uf1095 New York City's economy slowed in the first half of 1981, a study finds. But the city completed a surprisingly strong sale of notes. Page B1. By E. J. DIONNE Jr. Speci al to the New York Times ALBANY, Sept. 16 - After a bitter debate that included charges of bigotry, the State Legislature tonight approved seven bills that would allow New York City's voters to cast ballots in primary elections Tuesday for any offices the Justice Department approves.

The three commissioners of an electric company in Norwalk, Conn., were arrested yesterday and charged with diverting hundreds of thousands of dollars to their personal use - and all because the company refused a customer's request to itemize the electric bills that she thought were too high for her seven-room house. ''I had a feeling there was some hanky-panky, but I didn't think it would be anything like this,'' said the customer, Dorothy Spielman, a former bookkeeper who now works in a bank as a supervisor. ''If they only did what I asked them to do on the bills, I wouldn't have been as persistent,'' said Mrs. Spielman, who said her electric bill ranged from $48 to $70 a month. ''I wanted my fuel adjustment shown as a separate item, and they wouldn't do it.'' Mrs. Spielman said she had been so frustrated by the refusal of the South Norwalk Electric Works, one of two municipal electric companies in Norwalk, to explain her bills that she demanded access to its books, a right she had as a Norwalk voter. Austin McGuigan, the Chief State's Attorney, credits her complaints with getting the case started.