What was going on when I was born?

Uniting the followers of New York's pro football teams for one glorious Sunday, the Jets swept themselves and the Giants into the playoffs yesterday with a crushing 28-3 victory over the Green Bay Packers. For Jet fans and players, few days have been more memorable. The Jets were wild-eyed before the game in a raucous locker room; when it ended, in the swirl of the December winds at Shea Stadium, the fans were the ones who shouted and leaped, hundreds charging onto the field, dozens trying to tear down one of the uprights. It took the Jets, who had started off so badly this campaign, until the final weekend of the regular season to determine their fate - by winning, they qualified for the National Football League playoffs for the first time since 1969 and the Joe Namath era. Green Bay was competing with the Giants for a National Conference wild-card spot, so by disposing of the Packers the Jets guaranteed that for the first time both New York teams would be in the playoffs.

The last weekend before Christmas - traditionally the busiest period on the retail calendar - drew hordes of shoppers but generated spotty sales, retailers in the New York area conceded yesterday. A survey of stores showed that the flow of customers developed late and sales of more expensive merchandise were lagging. And although many stores had already reduced prices, shoppers interviewed Saturday and yesterday complained of high prices and said they were spending less on gifts this year. A shopping tour of the area found an uneven flow of shoppers and considerable comparative shopping. Many people - about 12 out of 13, by one count - walked out of stores without making a purchase. And more than half the store clerks had no customers.

In nearly two years since the most savage prison riot in American history, improvements in conditions and security at the state penitentiary here have reportedly been gained grudgingly, if at all. Lawyers, former guards, prison rights advocates, corrections officials and outside experts say this is the case even though the state has poured large amounts of money and manpower into its prison system. A new commissioner has taken over the Department of Corrections, seven law-enforcement and legislative investigations are under way and the system has been under the constant scrutiny of a lawyer assigned to measure compliance with a Federal judge's reform orders. Efforts to improve the prison have had wide public support. Although the prison authorities say that they are improving their control of violence, it persists nonetheless. Since the riot in February 1980, in which 33 inmates were tortured and killed by fellow prisoners, nine inmates and two guards have been slain at the penitentiary.

''IF it wiggles, I'll hit it,'' Beasley Reece, the senior citizen of the Giants' defensive backfield, had said early in the week before Saturday's must-win game against the Dallas Cowboys. Now, he had come out on the field for the pregame warmups and a few of the Cowboys sauntered over to their former teammate. Reece was pleased by what he heard. ''Tony Hill, Drew Pearson, a couple of the others, they all made mention of how we had been hitting,'' he said. '' 'You guys are flying all over the field,' and 'You guys are hitting everything that moves,' those kind of things. It's an image we're proud of.'' It's an image from deep in Giant history. The last time the Giants won a National Football League championship was 25 years ago, when they had a rookie linebacker named Sam Huff and the team's fans invented the cheer of ''Dee-fense.''

State officials and nursing home associations reacted with dismay and bafflement yesterday to the Reagan Administration's proposals to relax or repeal many Federal regulations affecting the treatment of patients in long-term care facilities. The officials said that New York's nursing home standards, upgraded after a series of scandals in the 1970's, were now the most stringent in the nation and would not be affected by changes in the less strict Federal law. But they said the Federal Government was setting a bad example for the quality of care to the aged and sick. The director of the Greater New York Health Care Association, the largest group of privately run nursing homes in the state, said he could not understand how money would be saved by the Reagan proposals. The proposals are part of an effort to eliminate what the Administration views as costly, unnecessary regulations.

UP in the Shea Stadium stands behind the end zone, a young man in a green and white jersey was shouting, ''The Jets are in the playoffs,'' and next to him a teen-ager in a blue and red stocking cap was yelling, ''The Giants are in the playoffs.'' For two decades, the Jets and the Giants and all their followers have been rivals. But yesterday the twain met. When the Jets crushed the Green Bay Packers, 28-3, the Jets not only qualified for the Super Bowl playoffs, but they also put the Giants into the playoffs. After a generation of wondering what to do about two pro football teams that were jokers, New York suddenly has two wild cards to cherish.

''What kind of talk is this, punishing Israel? Are we a vassal state of yours? Are we a banana republic? Are we 14-year-olds who, if we misbehave, we get our wrists slapped?'' - Prime Minister Menachem Begin. (A20:2.)

A portrait of a New York City full of contradictions - of pride amid pervasive concern over crime, of slightly improved feelings about city life despite decaying confidence in its services -has emerged from a new survey of New York City residents. The survey found, however, that New Yorkers' hope for their city's long-term future has dimmed markedly over the last four years. While more than three-quarters of those interviewed said they were proud to be New Yorkers, nearly half said they would prefer to be living somewhere else four years from now. The survey by The New York Times, in which 1,146 residents of the city were interviewed by telephone between Dec. 7 and 14, sought opinions on a wide variety of aspects of city life and its political leaders. Differing Perceptions The results, in general, confirmed the resiliency of New Yorkers in the face of adversity. More specifically, they indicated sharply differing perceptions of the city between whites and members of minority groups, between those gaining in financial security and those losing it, and among residents of different boroughs. There was broad consensus, however, on the strong impact of crime on city life.

For the first time, the Jets and the Giants have qualified for the Super Bowl playoffs in the same season. The two teams earned wild-card berths in the playoffs as a result of the Jets' 28-3 victory over the Green Bay Packers yesterday at Shea Stadium and the Giants' dramatic 13-10 defeat of the Dallas Cowboys in overtime Saturday at Giants Stadium.

Aides to President Reagan are seeking $45 billion in new taxes over the next two fiscal years. The request is based on new economic projections and will be presented to the President for his approval in midweek. Unlike past forecasts, the new figures have the support of the Government's top economic officials. (Page A1.)

International Prime Minister Menachem Begin charged the Reagan Administration with anti-Semitism and with treating Israel like a ''vassal state.'' His statement came in response to the Administration's indefinite suspension of further discussion on a strategic accord with Israel because of its annexation of the Golan Heights. (Page A1, Column 6.) Despite Israel's bitter reaction to Washington's suspension of further talks on carrying out the American-Israeli agreement, the Reagan Administration said it hoped that the accord would not be canceled. Prime Minister Begin responded to the suspension in terms that no State Department official could ever remember coming from an ally. (A1:4-5.)

As a showcase for the undergraduate muse, The Yale Literary Magazine has been a fixture on this red-brick and Gothic gray campus since 1836. It has carried the nascent stirrings of such celebrated writers as Archibald MacLeish, John Hersey, Thornton Wilder and Sinclair Lewis. But The Old Lady in Brown, as the magazine was once called, has undergone a kind of literary metamorphosis. She has a new face and a different voice, and some of the sons of Old Eli wish their alma mater had never let it happen.