What was going on when I was born?

International Soviet support of ''suppression'' in Poland was assailed by the Western alliance, which warned that Western Europe may join the United States in imposing economic sanctions against Moscow. The tough statement issued at the end of the first emergency meeting of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization was the first suggestion that Western Europe might join in sanctions. (Page A1, Column 6.) Poland's economy is still paralyzed, according to a Polish Government economist, who blamed American sanctions for the nation's continuing economic doldrums and implied that the sanctions would prolong military rule. Restoring the economy has been a key goal of the military regime, but according to the official, Wladyslaw Baka, the economic outlook is not good. (A9:1-3.)

In the northeast corner of Italy, where most women concentrate more on polenta and chicken than cold-rolled steel, Cecilia Danieli has carved out an unusually successful career as the head of of Italy's leading builder of steel mills and steel-handling equipment. The company she runs, the Danieli Group, with about 1,500 employees and revenues of roughly $100 million a year, developed the compact steel mills known in the industry as mini-mills. These mills have revolutionized steelmaking and tilted the world steel market in the last two decades by giving scores of countries in Africa, South America and the Far East the me ans to produce steel cheaply and efficiently. Though women have recently broadened their rights in Italy, and have long made a significant mark in the apparel and fashion businesses, the 38-year-old Mrs. Danieli, married and a mother of three children, is one of a handful who have reached the top in the male domain of heavy industry.

Now that the martial-law Government has quelled open resistance in Poland for the time being, it is faced with a more daunting task - trying to govern the country. The difficulties are formi dable. The Commun ist Party, which is still nominally the leading institution in th e country, is in total disarray, beset by a flood of resignations an d split in the upper ranks over the question of what to do next. The economy is in shambles, lacking in resources and productive capacity even to begin its own rege neration. Unless there is largescale as sistance from outside, its downward spiral will not be arrested in t he foreseeable future.

Only a few of the 39 state legislatures convening this month are expected to alleviate the effects of reductions in Federal spending for social welfare programs. No state is planning to increase spending to make up for all the Federal cuts, and most states are making few moves to offset the effects on the poor. Such states as Oklahoma and Louisiana, which have the resources to increase spending, generally lack the desire to do so. States such as New York, Connecticut and Michigan, which have a need to continue social services at relatively generous levels, lack the money to do so. Those findings emerged from an inquiry by The New York Times into the 50 states' responses to budget cuts proposed by President Reagan and approved by Congress last year.

When Jerry Fisher lived in Leningrad a decade ago, he recalled, ''my job was an engineer for refrigerators; it's the same what I got here - a refrigerator.'' He was standing in the cold bedroom of his apartment in Rego Park, Queens, where the radiators have been dead since Saturday. Mr. Fisher, a cabdriver, came home from work at 5 A.M. yesterday to find his wife huddled under two comforters. In the next room the Polish nursemaid had taken his 9-month-old son out of the crib and into her own bed, clasping the baby to her body for warmth.

Americans added just $342 million to their installment debt load last November, the smallest increase since the summer of 1980, the Federal Reserve Board reported today, While taking on relatively little new debt in November, the Federal Reserve said, consumers paid off old bills at a record pace. November's debt expansion, coming as the year's recession was deepening, was the smallest since outstanding consumer credit actually diminished by $1.2 billion in July 1980. The decline in July 1980 was the last of four monthly decreases in a row during the 1980 recession, and it was caused at least in part by Go vernment credit controls.

In Afghanistan, weapons range from rifles to missiles A2 Israelis to press U.S. on Shcharansky A3 Malaysian official, reported dead, is found alive in jungle A3 Around the World A4 Pollution in Ankara reaches dan- gerous level A4 Mrs. Marcos denounces athlete in family feud A5 Text of NATO foreign ministers declaration on Poland A8 Polish and Soviet foreign minis- ters hold talks in Moscow A9 Some Poles on trial are acquitted, but there is no cheering A10 Government/Politics Pueblo report shows Navy anger at Bucher A10 Request for rise in trash carting rates draws criticism B3 Supreme Court Roundup B15 Justice Rehnquist returns to work at the Supreme Court B15 Supreme Court to decide if proof of discrimination is needed B15 Washington Talk Briefing B8 The state of the State of the Union Message B8 The military reform caucus in Congress B8 Decision File B8 General Around the Nation A12 Alabama rights workers jailed in voting fraud case A12 Witnesses dispute Atlanta suspect on activities near bridge A13 Waiter described at Jack Abbott's trial as peaceable B3 Koch plans to sue General Motors for about $50 million in taxes B4 Casino tells of payoffs to officials in 1960's B6 Director of Odyssey House agrees to repay $20,000 in expenses B6 Science Times Backache: Studies begin to ex- plain its crippling pain C1 The South Pol e is a laboratory for psychology of isolation C1 Prosperity or decline? Projecting the next 20 years C1 Education: New York empha- sizes 9th-Grade Math C1 Science Q&A C2 Science Watch C2 About education: Searching for better ways to teach science C7 Letters to Science Times C9 Industry/Labor Auto union opens talks with G.M. and Ford A12 Oil workers agree with Gulf Oil on new two-year contract B9 Where jobs are available through- out the nation B9 Energy New Yorkers find different ways to cope with the cold B1 Arts/Entertainment Nastassia Kinski and Rudolf Nu- reyev shooting film downtown C11 Paramount may not distribute "One From the Heart" C11 Pretenders at the Palladium C12 Dr. Joyce Brothers's advice on men is reviewed C13 Bernadette Peters to star in an Off Broadway show C13 A husband-wife cello-piano duo plays at the Y C13 "Life on Earth" and Cheever drama on PBS tonight C15 Camera catches Mike Wallace in ethnic remark C15 Style Notes on Fashion B10 Seventh Avenue gives a nod to summer B10 Bidding in the party spirit B10 Obituaries Jiro Horikoshi, designer of Zero fighter plane D23 Paul Lynde, entertainer and TV personality D23 B24 Dr. Jan Schilt, professor of as- tronomy at Columbia D23 James McLaughlin, chief curator of Phillips Collection in capital D23 Sports Rangers down North Stars, 5-3, and move over .500 B11 Celtics down Nets, 112-94 B11 Villanova tops St. John's, 64-62 B11 Supreme Court lets stand ruling on N.F.L.'s access to cable TV B11 The protection of Pat Ewing, Georgetown giant B11 Wichita State basketball put on 3-year probation by N.C.A.A. B12 Yanks name Mickey Vernon as batting coach B13 Dave Anderson on Bill Walsh and Paul Brown B14 Coach Landry's strategy ques- tioned in loss to 49ers B14 Gregg wary of turnovers that helped 49ers beat Bengals B14 Features/Notes Sports People B13 Notes on People B14 Going Out Guide C10 News Analysis John Darnton surveys problems facing the Polish Government A1 Andrew Pollack discusses ques- tions on A.T.& T. divestiture D1 Editorials/Letters/Op-Ed Editorials A14 Ma Bell in transition Tax-exempt hate The cold, rediscovered A settlement for stuffed prisons Letters A14 Tom Wicker: how to subsidize racism A15 Stephen Jay Gould: evolution wins again A15 Clarence Darrow: evolution, a crime A15 H.L. Mencken: John T. Scopes, infidel A15

The Western alliance condemned the Soviet Union today for its active support of ''the systematic suppression'' in Poland and warned that Western Europe might join the United States in imposing economic sanctions against Moscow. No specific economic measures were decided at the first emergency meeting ever held by the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. But the toughly worded Text of the declaration is on page A8. statement narrowed considerably the difference in perception of the Polish situation held by some European countries and the United States.

The proposed settlement of the Government's antitrust suit against the American Telephone and Telegraph Company lays the groundwork for the future of the telecommunications industry. But it also leaves complex issues unresolved and sets the stage for new and difficult disputes. For instance, a matter as basic as who will own the telephones already in customers' homes remains unclear. It is unanswered because the settlement agreement with the Justice Department conflicts with a previous order of the Federal Communications Commission, and no one yet knows how the two will be reconciled. Other unresolved issues concern how A.T.& T. will actually divest itself of its 22 local operating companies and how the phone company's $137 billion in assets are to be divided among A.T.& T. and the newly independent local phone companies. According to some industry analysts, the answers to such questions can have as much an effect on customer rates and service -and on the telephone industry - as the basic settlement itself.

SOUTH POLE STATION, Antarctica THE events of Aug. 17, 1979, will not get into the official history books, but they were something of psychological milestone in the history of the South Pole. Outside, temperatures dipped to 71 degrees below zero in a blinding blizzard, but inside, emotional temperatures among the crew of 16 men and one woman, after nearly half a year of total darkness, were reaching the flash point. Foaming at the mouth and roaring drunk, a member of the crew who had recently learned of his father's death, piles into the galley in rage. He yells and begins to smash cups wildly. Blood and glass everywhere. Soon he spies his rival for the affections of the station's lone woman and charges with a two-by-four, then runs out into the blizzard. It is hours before the mayhem ends, with gashes, bruises and frostbite. In the three days of eerie calm that follow ed, Andrew Cameron, the 22-year-old supply man who witnessed all this , reflects in his diary:''Most people would never winter over if they knew what it really is like. Well the truth of it is that it can be fun at times but the deep dark winter with hopeless evacuation for eight months is a sheer mental hell.'' He wonders how the crew, afflicted by deep jealousies and divisions, can survive another three months.

''It's a Bell System issue.'' For many years, that was all the salesmanship needed to find buyers for long-term bonds issued by any of the American Telephone and Telegraph Company's 22 operating subsidiaries. But now that A.T.& T. has agreed with the Justice Department to divest itself of its local telephone subsidiaries, investors are taking a seco nd look at notes and debentures issued by those units. Although there are far more questions than answers about how Bell will be dismembered, there is fear in the investment community that once the divestiture is completed, the credit quality of the local company issues will not be as high as it has been.

President Reagan has decided that the Government on Taiwan will be permitted to buy additional F-5E fighter planes but not more advanced aircraft, the State Department announced today. The decision appeared to be a compromise that would satisfy neither Taiwan nor China, and it received mixed reviews in Washington. The Government on Taiwan had sought to buy more advanced fighters, while the Government in Peking had demanded that the United States end all arms sales to Taiwan. In Peking, John H. Holdridge, Assistant Secretary of State for East Asian and Pacific Affairs, held talks with Chinese officials after arriving on an unannounced visit, but details of the talks were not disclosed. (Page A6.)