What was going on when I was born?

President Reagan tonight accused the Democratic leaders in Congress of advocating ''more and more spending and more and more taxes'' and asked the American people to support a budgetary approach that would rely on spending cuts to close the Federal deficit in the years ahead. In a television address delivered a day after the collapse of talks aimed at a bipartisan budget compromise, Mr. Reagan sounded a combative note by saying that he would meet soon with Republican allies in Congress to help draw up a budget for the next year. ''I will also consult with responsible members of the Democratic Party in Reagan's address is on page A17; Bolling's reply, page A18. the Congress,'' he said, ''to make this a truly bipartisan effort in the national interest.'' Failure After 5 Weeks The bipartisan budget talks dragged on for five weeks and broke off Wednesday after an extraordinary three-hour meeting between the President and the Speaker of the House, Thomas P. O'Neill Jr. The impasse arose from Mr. Reagan's refusal to scale back his three-year income tax cut and the Democrats' refusal to accept deep new cuts in domestic programs.

The breakdown of budget negotiations between the Reagan Administration and Congress leaves the nation's economy floundering, with high interest rates still threatening any chance for a sustained and strong recovery. Economists, in assessing the impasse reached Wednesday, said that the failure to reach an agreement heightened the uncertainty about the future of the economy, which has been through the worst threeyear period of sluggishness and recession since the Depression. As long as an opportunity remains for Congress and the Administration to regroup and slash the budget deficits, the immediate impact of the stalemate is not expected to produce an economic disaster. If deficits continue to grow, however, many economists believe interest rates will not decline significantly because of the specter of huge Federal borrowings and the negative psychological impact that such deficits have on the financial markets. Therefore, even a delay of just months in dealing with the budget problem, some economists say, would produce further pain for the housing and auto industries.

Thailand strives to turn turbulent region into "happy south" A2 Weinberger calls U.S. conven- tional forces insufficient A3 Iran is expected to launch an of- fensive against Iraqis A3 Around the World A5 Britons vent their anger at things Argentine A8 Government/Politics F.B.I. chief defends undercover work in Abscam operation A11 Senate rejects efforts to weaken nuclear wastes bill A13 Talks fail to end impasse over New York State budget B1 State assails judge's ruling on its care of the retarded B2 Mayor Koch is jeered on housing at "town hall" meeting B2 City may tie construction aid to hiring of poor workers B3 Washington Talk Briefing A20 Authors battle a copyright law A20 A special party for a special pharmacist A20 Required Reading A20 Decision File A20 General Around the Nation A10 Potential jurors questioned in the Hinckley trial A14 Ex-Justice Potter Stewart re- turns to Yale B1 Health/Science Industry effort to change Clean Air Act runs into difficulties A10 Study panel says red tape delays drug approvals A12 A study panel suggests safer means of curing meats A12 Religion Thousands in Chicago join in last tribute to Cardinal Cody A10 Weekend Events: Weekender Guide C1 Dozens of good ways to greet merry month of May C1 Theater: Broadway C2 "The Chalk Garden" opens at the Roundabout C3 Circle Rep stages plays by youngsters C1 Dance: Students to do Helgi Tomasson first ballet C3 Screen: At the Movies C8 "The Chosen," with Rod Steiger C5 "Soup for One," a coming-of- age story C8 "Partners," with John Hurt C12 Music: Oxana Yablonskaya at Brooklyn College C9 Salute to Thelonious Monk C16 Jorge Bolet, pianist, and Charles Rex, violinist C32 Art: Homage to Napoleon at Wil- denstein Gallery C22 Art of the book at Morgan Li- brary C23 Auctions C26 Books: Publishing C28 "Take Five" by Keith Mano re- viewed C29 Restaurants C18 TV Weekend C30 Style The Evening Hours B4 A tea dance with a Victorian flavor B4 Clean tailoring, refined knits B4 Sports Dave Anderson on the Derby favorite by default A22 El Baba favored as 20 are entered in 108th Kentucky Derby A22 Islanders defeat Nordiques, 5-2, and lead series, 2-0 A23 Pat Hickey unfazed by Nordiques losses A23 Angels beat Yankees, 2-0 A23 Tennis Professionals Association urges $10,000 fine for Lendl A23 Lollar of Padres stops Mets, 6-0, and hits a homer A24 Features/Notes Alvaro Alfredo Magana, new Sal- vadoran President A7 Notes on People B6 News Analysis Jonathan Fuerbringer on the im- pact of the budget impasse A1 Editorials/Letters/Op-Ed Editorials A30 Food fight, across the Atlantic The right signal in Seoul Fewer hands on the garbage Nicholas Wade: smart apes? Letters A30 William Safire: benefits of the flat tax A31 Tom Wicker: Haig and Water- gate (2) A31 Sol M. Linowitz: either Camp David, or ... A31 Daniel S. Greenberg: science equals spy-ence A31

Joshua Logan will introduce ''Sayonara,'' his 1957 film, tonight at 7:30 at the Japan Society, 333 East 47th Street. The film -about a love affair between an American Army officer stationed in Japan (Marlon Brando) and a beautiful showgirl (Miiko Taka) - won four Oscars, including those for best supporting actor and actress to Red Buttons and Miyoshi Umeki, who played star-crossed lovers. Tickets are $4 and go on sale 5:30 the day of the screening. Information: 752-0824. SOHO TV DOCUMENTARIES Documentaries on a broad range of subjects - some seen on public television, some not yet shown - will be shown in an annual festival starting tonight at 7:30 at Global Village, 454 Broome Street in SoHo. Global Village is a nonprofit center that offers conferences and classes about television. It also produces documentaries, although none are in this festival, which will continue Fridays and Saturdays in May. Showing tonight are ''From the Ashes ... Nicaragua Today'' by Helena Solberg Ladd and Melanie Maholick; ''Puerto Rico: A Colony the American Way'' by Diego Echeverria, and ''Americas in Transition'' by Obie Benz, narrated by Ed Asner, about United States involvement in Latin American affairs. Admission is $3. Information: 966-7526.

Having emerged from a deeply troubled past, Marine Midland Banks Inc. is trying to make up for lost time by creating a nationwide federation of commonly owned, but autonomous banks. Armed with capital from the Hongkong and Shanghai Banking Corporation, which now has a 51 percent interest in the New York bank, Marine is aggressively seeking to buy banks around the United States. Hongkong and Shanghai, one of the most powerful banks in Asia, operates more than 400 offices in 40 countries and is especially strong in the Far East, the Middle East and India. Because Federal law prohibits interstate banking, Marine's purchases cannot be consummated until the law changes, but the bank is confident that the change will come in the not-too-distant future. Until then, it is holding options to trade nonvoting preferred stock that it now owns in the out-of-state banks for common voting stock. If the acquisitions do not go through, the preferred stock can be redeemed over a 20-year period.

Credit market participants expressed dismay yesterday at the adverse long-term effects of future Federal budget deficits even larger than the $100.5 billion estimated for the current fiscal year, but their concerns were not enough to push interest rates higher. ''People are numbed by the whole experience,'' one government securities broker said of the breakdown in budget compromise talks. The increase in the 1983 deficit from the $20 billion projection of last summer to more than $100 billion recently is the kind of change that ''reduces the market to trading with a very short-term horizon, despite the improving outlook for inflation,'' he added. In yesterday's trading, yields for active Treasury issues actually fell slightly, reversing a portion of the modest increases that followed news late Wednesday of the breakdown in budget negotiations between President Reagan and Congressional leaders. For example, securities dealers offered the upcoming three-year and 10-year Treasury issues at yields of 13.93 percent and 13.94 percent, respectively, compared with 14 percent and 13.9 percent late Wednesday.

Argentina's military junta said tonight that any British ship or plane found within 200 miles of the Falklands would be regarded as hostile and dealt with ''accordingly.'' The announcement, which said the measure was effective at once, was in response to Britain's declaration of a sea and air blockade of the islands beginning at 7 A.M. Friday, New York time. Much of the British battle fleet was already believed to be within the 200-mile zone. Some reports placed it about 100 miles northeast of Stanley, the capital of the Falklands. It was not immediately clear whether Argentina was planning to try to enforce its declaration.

International Argentina warned Britain that any British ship or plane within 200 miles of the Falklands would be regarded as hostile and dealt with ''accordingly.'' The announcement came a half day before today's scheduled start of a British sea and air blockade of the same area. (Page A1, Column 1.) Argentina holds the key to peace in the Falklands, according to Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher who spoke in an emergency debate in Britain's House of Commons. She rejected demands by the opposition that Britain turn to the United Nations or the International Court of Justice in an 11th-hour effort to avert a war. (A9:1-4.)

Governor Carey and the Senate Republican leader, Warren M. Anderson, ended an extraordinary negotiating session today at 3 A.M. Their talk left them divided on what burden the state's localities should have to bear in helping the state balance its $27 billion budget. The issue threatened to postpone the state's $3.5 billion spring borrowing indefinitely, with neither side showing any sign of movement. The issue was a simple one: Whether reductions in state aid to localities and school districts made this year to balance the budget should be considered an obligation that the state will have to pay next year. Mr. Carey says this ''rollover'' is fiscal irresponsibility. Mr. Anderson says it must happen, to meet the state's commitments to localities. Mr. Carey contended - but Mr. Anderson's aides later denied - that he and the legislative leaders had managed to settle virtually all their other differences at a meeting that opened at 1:45 A.M. The session was held in Mr. Carey's office on the second floor of the darkened and virtually deserted State Capitol.

Under intense pressure from the armed forces, El Salvador's Constituent Assembly today elected Alvaro Alfredo Magana, a political centrist, as provisional President of the country. The election of Mr. Magana, which followed weeks of political infighting, came after party leaders agreed to increase the number of vice presidents from one to three - one from each of the major political parties. Mr. Magana, a 56-year-old lawyer who heads the country's largest mortgage bank, is not formally affiliated with any of the parties. He has close ties to the armed forces and is believed to be the military's first choice for the job.

The Reagan Administration is likely to face stiff Congressional resistance to a package of investment incentives that it has put together to bolster economies in the Caribbean and Central America. Many of the program's staunchest supporters concede that the legislation might not come out of Congress intact, while others say that even if it does, American business is unlikely to respond with enthusiasm. As many regional specialists have noted, President Reagan's Caribbean Basin Initiative is based on a plan to spur private investment in an area characterized by a lack of infrastructure, a dearth of skilled labor, and sporadic political instability - conditions that foreign capital has always considered anathema. In Trinidad, for example, labor conditions are so difficult that Japanese shippers hire local unloading crews, as required by Trinidad law, and then let them go while a Japanese team does the work.

MAY will arrive this weekend in a blaze of cherry blossoms in Brooklyn, on the strings of wild kites in Central Park and in the sounds, smells and sights of festivals and tours all over town. This is the weekend when New Yorkers and their suburban neighbors take to the outdoors. What follows are some of the ways in which you can participate. An ancient custom will be observed at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden tomorrow through May 9 - a Sakura Matsuri or cherry-blossom festival - a centuries-old Japanese tradition in which cherry blossoms, symbols of spring, are appreciated. At the garden, now filled with the blossoms, they will be appreciated with Japanese music, readings, demonstrations and delicacies. The festival gets under way at 1 P.M. with a ribbon-cutting attended by international and local dignitaries on the Cherry Esplanade, where more than 100 double-flowering pink kwanzan are in bloom - one of the garden's 21 varieties of Japanese flowering cherry trees. Taiko drummers will perform, Nigi Sato, a lyric soprano, will sing, and so will New York City schoolchildren - in both Japanese and English.