What was going on when I was born?

AS soon as Holcomb decided to quit smoking, he began to crave a cigarette. To help him over the hump, he envisioned a television screen that showed the message, ''I do not smoke.'' This image enabled him to resist the craving ... for about 15 seconds. Each time the craving returned, he ''looked'' at the imaginary screen again. After about five minutes, the craving would dissipate, only to reappear about an hour later. He repeated the television ritual over and over again as the cravings for cigarettes gradually became fewer and further apart. He admits, though, that it was 10 years before he could completely relinquish the imagery that sustained him as a nonsmoker. Many of us have self-destructive habits, patterns or compulsions we'd like to break: overeating, alcohol abuse, smoking, compulsive gambling, excessive shyness, overwork, addictions to sweets or caffeine. More than likely, you've tried many times to rid yourself of your problem and failed. Following each relapse you've probably said to yourself, ''I'm a failure'' or ''I just can't do it.'' You look at the many people who have been successful in breaking bad habits or compulsions and think, ''I'm weak, I have no willpower.''

The likelihood of Douglas A. Fraser, the president of the United Automobile Workers union, remaining on the board of directors of the Chrysler Corporation appeared to increase today. A U.A.W. announcement today said that 58 local union officials from Chrysler plants, meeting in Detroit last week, had voted to ''request Mr. Fraser to change his plans'' and keep the seat even after he retires as president in May. There was only one opposing vote, said David Mitchell, a union spokesman.

The Russian look is only skin- deep in Manchuria A2 An article in Soviet newspaper is assailed in U.S. A3 Australians will vote in national elections next month A3 Death toll in Assam violence is put at 1,127 A4 Nuclear weapons are found guilty at a mock trial in Nuremberg A5 Mubarak says Egyptian jets in- tercepted Libyan aircraft A7 P.L.O. council strengthens rebuff of Reagan plan A8 Around the World A9 Body from El Salvador is thought to be that of New Jersey writer A10 Reagan aide calls Central Ameri- can reforms essential A11 Government/Politics Garbage cans hold key to power in Chicago's 33d Ward A12 House panel backs many Social Security amendments A14 Lawmaker attacks E.P.A. role in backing clean-up contract A17 Jersey Supreme Court weighing the closing of pretrial hearings B2 Rise in inmates at Pilgrim center seen as possible B3 Assembly Speaker says talks are dropped on raising major taxes B3 State agency grants $12 million in tax breaks to three companies B3 Washington Talk Briefing A18 Congress: A new select commit- tee on families and children A18 What happens when there is a Presidential power vacuum A18 General Around the Nation A12 Bobby Short hopes to put statue of Ellington in Central Park B3 Education/Welfare Board of Education searching for new schools chancellor B1 The Living Section Food What makes a great cook great? C1 Landmark bakeshop in Sara- toga Springs C1 Finding the rich brew called Irish tea C3 The 60-Minute Gourmet C3 Food Notes C7 Wine Talk C11 Living Personal Health C1 Metropolitan Diary C2 Kitchen Equipment C2 Discoveries C10 New Yorkers, etc. C12 De la Renta offers silk for sum- mer parties C12 Brentano's on Fifth is just a ghost now C12 Arts/Entertainment City Opera to open summer-fall season with ''Turandot'' C15 What is rock-and-roll's effect on musical cultures? C16 ''Moose Murders'' opens at the Eugene O'Neill Theater C16 Nathan Miller's book ''F.D.R.'' reviewed C21 Pay-TV's ''Pirates of Penzance'' captures small audience C23 Health/Science Space shuttle launching expected in March A12 Obituaries Murry Seasongood, lawyer and former Mayor of Cincinnati B5 Dr. William C. Boyd, pioneer in immunology B5 Brother A. Victor Lally, former head of Manhattan College B5 Sports Pages Islanders and Jets tie, 2-2 B7 Knicks edge Mavericks on Cart- wright's dunk, 108-106 B7 Olympic gold medal is Evelyn Ashford's major goal B7 Guidry, in camp, optimistic on Yank changes B8 B5 Mets' Swan content to be unno- ticed B8 Plays: Only Resch finds fault with Resch B8 George Vecsey on soccer's future in the United States B9 Notre Dame downs Hofstra, 61-50 B9 Nets defeat Pacers on King's bas- ket, 110-108 B10 Features/Notes New York Day by Day B3 Sports People B6 Going Out Guide C22 Editorials/Letters/Op-Ed Editorials A22 Europe's export excess The fire in India Keep airlines accountable Letters A22 Russell Baker: Enough fire in the what? A23 Allan Boesak: Pretoria's propos- als must be rejected A23 Sissela Bok: The growing secrecy-vs.-security issue A23

President Reagan said today that he was prepared to explore alternatives to his proposed ban on all American and Soviet medium-range missiles in Europe if the principle of equality between the United States and the Soviet Union was respected. In a wide-ranging foreign policy address here at the American Legion's annual conference, Mr. Reagan for the first time listed the requirements for his Administration to modify its ''zero option'' proposal for missiles in Europe, as some in Europe have asked him to do. Under the zero option, the Soviet Union would be required to dismantle its medium-range missiles trained on Europe and Asia if the Atlantic alliance dropped its plan to install 572 American cruise and Pershing 2 missiles. Says 'Zero Option' Is Best Mr. Reagan said the zero option ''remains the best and most moral outcome'' of the arms talks under way with the Soviet Union, but added that the United States is ''negotiating in good faith in Geneva, and ours is not a take-it-or-leave-it proposal.''

To anyone familiar with agriculture on the American scale - the endless fields of wheat and corn in the Middle West or the vast fruit and vegetable tracts of California - Japanese farms are a bit of a shock. In fact, most look like small, welltended garden plots. Not only are Japan's farms tiny, but they are also inefficient by world standards. Moreover, this agricultural system is preserved by stiff import restrictions and generous Government subsidies to farm interests. The Government protection of an unproductive agricultural sector means higher costs for Japanese consumers, who are unable to buy cheaper food imports. The subsidies to domestic farmers hinder efforts to trim the big federal budget deficit, nominally a priority of the Government for years.

Stock prices fell sharply as concern that oil price cuts might damage the world's economy spread among investors. The Dow Jones industrial average dropped 12.42 points, to 1,080.40. (Page D1.) But in the credit markets, traders drew a different conclusion - that the price cuts bode well for a further decline in inflation -and short- and long-term interest rates declined. (D9.) Short interest on the Big Board fell 2.2 percent in the month ended Feb. 15. (D16.) Fear of an oil price war drove the British pound down to its lowest level against the currencies of Britain's main trading partners. Against the dollar, the pound slipped to $1.5205, from $1.5340. The dollar rose against most major currencies. (D13.) Precious metals futures prices fell their daily permissible limits. Gold prices dropped $26 an ounce in New York, to $478.50. (D13.)

''This Administration is prepared to take all necessary measures to guarantee the security of Israel's northern borders in the aftermath of the complete withdrawal of the Israeli Army.'' - President Reagan. (A1:4.)

The French Foreign Minister said Monday that Yuri V. Andropov, the Soviet leader, was ''lacking in human warmth'' and was a ''nonromantic'' who worked like ''a computer.'' The French Minister, Claude Cheysson, was one of the first senior Western officials to meet with Mr. Andropov since the death of Leonid I. Brezhnev last November, and he offered his unusually candid account of his encounter during an interview with French reporters on a flight from Moscow to Brussels late Monday night and in television interviews there. His comments, all for the public record, were printed today in several French publications, including the newspaper Le Monde.

After more than 14 hours of testimony interrupted by both applause and jeers, a City Council committee defeated the homosexual rights bill early today, while angry spectators chanted ''justice, justice.'' Proponents promptly pressed plans to appeal to the full Council. A few minutes after midnight, the Council's General Welfare Committee voted 6 to 3 against the bill, which would amend the city's human rights law to add ''sexual orientation'' to the criteria that cannot be used to justify discrimination in hiring, housing and public accommodations. The criteria specified now are race, religion, sex, age and physical handicap.

Last November, Honeywell Inc. announced mixed tidings for employees of its information systems unit. A total of 1,850 jobs were to be eliminated, but those employees who qualified could choose early retirement, pocketing a pension as well as cash payments equivalent to their Social Security benefits. In the end, like thousands of workers in troubled industries across the country, 100 of the employees took the early retirement option. They saw in the company buy-out program an opportunity either to leave the work force, living on their benefits, or to start another job with a supplemental income guaranteed.

In the Rendezvous Room one could learn about ''Gravestones as Cultural Resources,'' while in the Trianon Ballroom the subject was potholes. In the Rhinelander Center there were voting machines and football bleachers for sale. And the luncheon banquet, in the Grand Ballroom, featured a speech by the Lieutenant Governor and an ice cream bombe with brandied peaches. From 900 towns across New York State, 4,000 of the people who make up local government descended on the city this week to learn how to do what they already do, only better. These judges and tax collectors, historians and highway superintendents, councilmen and constables gathered for the 50th anniversary convention of the Association of Towns of the State of New York.

Joseph G. Barkan, the president of the Board of Education, has been jesting with friends, saying he is hurt because his name seems to be the only one missing from the long list of those being mentioned as possible successors to Frank J. Macchiarola as schools chancellor. There is some seriousness underlying the jokes, because Mr. Barkan is aware that at least one colleague on the board, James F. Regan, and one former member, Dr. Stephen R. Aiello, are among the many who have been the subject of speculation. The others mentioned for the job include Richard F. Halverson, deputy chancellor; Deputy Mayor Robert F. Wagner Jr.; Thomas K. Minter, deputy chancellor for instruction; Anthony Alvarado, superintendent of Community School District 4; Assemblyman Leonard P. Stavisky, Democrat of Queens; Robert Spillane, superintendent of the Boston Public Schools, and Leon Goldstein, president of Kingsborough Community College. Mr. Wagner said in an interview yesterday that Mayor Koch had asked him to become a candidate and that he had agreed. At the same time, Mr. Halverson said that he would withdraw his candidacy and support Mr. Wagner.