What was going on when I was born?

MANY problem drinkers and even some victims of severe alcoholism can learn to control their drinking without having to abandon it entirely, according to several leading experts in Europe. That opinion is still the minority viewpoint on both sides of the Atlantic. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism in this country has consistently maintained that ''abstinence is the appropriate goal of alcoholism treatment,'' and governmental health authorities in Europe have given only limited endorsement to the concept of ''controlled drinking.'' Still, the idea that at least some alcoholics and problem drinkers can successfully learn to limit their consumption rather than abstain altogether appears to be gaining influence and recognition, especially in Great Britain and Scandinavia. Indeed, Two Scottish psychologists, Nick Heather and Ian Robertson, authors of a major 1981 book on ''Controlled Drinking,'' have exuberantly proclaimed ''a veritable scientific revolution in the alcoholism field.''

While the fadeout of the neighborhood variety store has been predicted for years, M. H. Lamston evidently hasn't been listening. In 1984, the 32- store chain will celebrate 50 years in the metropolitan New York area, a period in which it has witnessed the rise and fall of many larger and smaller retailers. Lamston has prospered at the upscale end of the variety store business. But it has done so without a heavy push into smart new shopping malls and without resorting to extensive discounting of its wide range of merchandise.

Gen. Wojciech Jaruzelski strengthened his control over Poland today by setting up a powerful military government in reserve, ready to take over political and economic affairs at his command. Legislation approved by Parliament without debate or dissent established a National Defense Committee, almost certain to be headed by the general, that will decide when a state of emergency or war should be declared and then assume sweeping powers. The move, among other things, will give General Jaruzelski the ability to move swiftly against any outbreaks of unrest that may develop over food price increases scheduled to go into effect in the new year. Walesa Calls for Struggle Lech Walesa, the founder of Solidarity, met secretly with the union's fugitive underground leaders over the weekend and issued a call for struggle against the increases.

LAST July, when the State Board of Regents first proposed sweeping changes for New York's schools, the plan they offered seemed unimpeachable - ''educational apple pie,'' in the words of one school superintendent. The Regents' plan called for higher academic standards, a longer school year, more rigorous courses and more of them - all oft-proposed balms for the national mediocrity that many reports have complained about in recent months. But the new plan, developed by the State Department of Education and tentatively approved by the Regents, has come under close scrutiny by teachers, administrators, politicians, unions and civic leaders who worry that it may be more a reaction to national alarums about education than a realistic program designed to work. At a series of regional conferences being held by the State Education Department on what is formally known as the Regents Action Plan, criticism has been polite but persistent, so much so that the State Education Commissioner, Gordon M. Ambach, has made a point of emphasizing that the proposal is subject to change. Neither he nor the Regents have been specific about possible changes.

Yasir Arafat was cornered along with several thousand guerrilla loyalists by Syrian-supported Palestinian rebels at the edge of downtown Tripoli, Lebanon. A spokesman for the P.L.O. leader said the rebel offensive had severed the last road links between Mr. Arafat and pockets of his backers holding out in the Beddawi refugee camp. (Page A1, Column 6.) The people of Tripoli are resigning themselves to a long, painful siege and continuing nerve-shattering artillery shelling. (A1:5-6.)

Index on judicial frontA2Soviet disavows missile offer attributed to it by U.S.A3Around the WorldA5Iraq reports destroying 7 ships and a planeA6President Marcos moves to clarify succession to presidencyA7General Assembly turns to Soviet troops in AfghanistanA8Greek Cypriot President sees ReaganA15Effectiveness of French raid in Lebanon is questionedA15 Washington TalkBlack group seeking a Reagan interview is discouragedB6Showing foreign visitors what American has to offerB6Decision FileB6 StyleNotes on FashionB5 Fashion: Tale of five cities B5For children at HanukkahB5 GeneralAround the NationA18Aerojet official says he warned Miss LavelleA20Man awarded $6 million in first lawsuit over the drug OraflexA24Dallas wonders if it helped pull the trigger in 1963A24U.S. won't prosecute Dan White case on CoastA25ABC to see little profit from "The Day After"A26Wife and passenger of dying pilot land plane safelyA29Former nurse at Texas hospital indicted in child injury caseA32Many causes are found for death of high school football playerB1Regan sees transit fare at 85 cents in '84 but $1.60 by '87B3Eight found guilty of running major narcotics ringB20

After months of speculation, yesterday's start-up in trading in the shares of the nation's new phone companies was a moment of truth. The news was mostly good, with trading active, though not overwhelming, and prices not far from what analysts had projected. As about 1.5 billion new shares of telephone company stocks flooded onto the New York Stock Exchange in the largest one-day listing of new shares in history, the post-divestiture A.T.& T. drew somewhat more attention than anticipated, while interest in the seven new regional phone companies being spun off by A.T.& T. was somewhat more subdued. '' 'New' telephone stock just opened with a bang and kept on going all day,'' said John J. Phelan Jr., president of the New York Stock Exchange. As for the regional companies, he said, ''They did about what I expected they would, but I've been somewhat less optimistic than some who thought we would be seeing 20 million new shares in trading volume.''

''There's no room for gender bias in our system. There's no room for the funny joke and the not-so-funny joke, there's no room for conscious, inadvertent, sophisticated, clumsy, or any other kind of gender bias, and certainly no room for gender bias that affects substantive rights.''

Stock prices soared yesterday, especially those of major corporations, with lower interest rates and a report of a sharp rise in personal income helping to stimulate prices. At the end of trading, the Dow Jones industrial average was ahead 17.78 points, to 1,268.80, its biggest daily rise since Oct. 6, when it climbed 18.60 points. The average is now within striking distance of its record close of 1,284.50, set on Oct. 10. However, the market's overall advance was less robust, with stocks gaining in price on the New York Stock Exchange outscoring losing issues only by a 9-to-7 ratio.

The Reagan Administration today announced a ban on imports of nickel from the Soviet Union in a move that denies Moscow dollar earnings while reinforcing a 1963 trade embargo against Cuba. Cuba, which exports some minerals as well as sugar, sells half of its nickel to the Soviet Union, and the Administration says ''there is reason to believe'' that some Cuban nickel is contained in the Soviet ingots, slabs, bars and other products exported to the United States. The Treasury Department said the order, issued under the Trading with the Ennemy Act, will go into effect in 30 days unless the Russians can guarantee that their shipments here contain no Cuban nickel. Trade officials said they thought it highly unlikely that Moscow would try to satisfy such a condition.

As the nerve-shattering artillery shelling continues here - sometimes with withering intensity, other times sporadically - the people of Tripoli are resigning themselves to a long, painful siege. ''It will not be over in less than a few weeks, maybe even a month,'' said Bassam Fattal, a businessman who is from one of the city's most influential families. The shelling would never have begun, people here say, if Yasir Arafat had not taken refuge in the city when two nearby Palestinian refugee camps, his last strongholds in Lebanon, came under attack by rebels who say he has become too moderate toward Israel. Waiting for Arafat Mr. Arafat, the chairman of the Palestine Liberation Organization, has resisted all appeals by the townspeople to leave because that would be admitting defeat. He wants to negotiate a settlement in which he would retain a prominent position in the P.L.O. But the rebels, with heavy support from Syria, are stronger militarily and appear in no mood to make concessions.

Forty-five minutes before the start of trading yesterday, Robin J. Stonehill did not have a single buy or sell order for shares of Southwestern Bell. ''Everything can change with one order,'' he said hopefully, his face clearly showing disappointment and his hands nervously tearing apart the top of a used pad. Mr. Stonehill, a partner in the firm of La Branche & Company, was the specialist designated to supervise trading on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange in Southwestern Bell, one of seven regional holding companies being shed by the American Telephone and Telegraph Company. Southwestern is the one that will serve Arkansas, Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma and Texas.