What was going on when I was born?

The summit meeting of European Economic Community leaders ended today in a deadlock over proposed cuts in farm spending and Britain's demand for a $1 billion budget refund. The breakdown leaves the 10-nation Common Market on the brink of bankruptcy and facing the most difficult political crisis of its 26-year history, according to officials here. The debate over farm spending is of crucial importance to American agricultural interests because the Common Market's farm policy encourages European farmers to produce more food than the community needs by guaranteeing them high prices and keeping out inexpensive imports. Persistent Trade Tensions With the help of big community-financed subsidies, these surpluses are then sold on the world market, where, successive American administrations have complained, they compete unfairly with American agricultural exports. This results in persistent trade tensions with the United States and threats of ''subsidy wars.''

The Koch administration hopes to spend up to $400 million for six new economic development programs, including a fund to stimulate housing for middle-class families and a city high school to train students in financial services. The programs, originally proposed in a letter from Mayor Koch to Governor Cuomo, were elaborated on yesterday in a City Hall news conference by Deputy Mayor Kenneth Lipper. The other proposals - to be financed from an expected surplus generated by the Municipal Assistance Corporation - are for projects in the downtown areas of Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island and the Bronx, more assistance to relocate businesses displaced by residential development and a reduction in utility taxes for industries. 'City Will Solidify These Ideas' The proposals are in addition to a commitment by the city to use some of the surplus to defray overruns on the Convention Center on the West Side, whose construction has been plagued by delays. The M.A.C. surplus is estimated by the city at $1 billion.

A key state official said yesterday that he thought six months could be cut from the Convention Center's completion time by the use of a new kind of space-frame construction for part of the project. The proposal is the lastest attempt to deal with production problems in the center's frame that have caused its completion date to be pushed back two years, to mid-1986. The frame, a Tinkertoy-like construction, uses a system that links rods to metal balls called nodes, which have been plagued with manufacturing problems, including hairline cracks.

Four Israelis were killed and 46 wounded when a bomb, apparently placed by a Palestinian terrorist, destroyed a crowded bus at the height of the lunchtime rush in Jerusalem. It was the worst terrorist attack there since 1979, when 3 people were killed and 50 wounded by explosives packed in a bicycle frame. (Page A1, Col. 6.) Data about Syrian antiaircraft sites in Lebanon was inadequate and American pilots met more intense fire than they expected during Sunday's bombing raid, a senior admiral said. He spoke at a Navy briefing in defense of the raid, in which two planes were lost, one airman was killed and one was captured by the Syrians. The performance of the airmen has been criticized by military specialists at home at abroad, including two former commanders of the Israeli Air Force. (A1:5-6.)

President Reagan today appointed three more people to the United States Commission on Civil Rights but refused to reappoint a prominent Republican who had criticized the Administration's civil rights policies. White House officials said they hoped the new appointees would reshape the commission in a conservative vein more consistent with the President's views. They said they hoped the commission would soon abandon its support for busing in school desegregation cases and for the use of numerical goals and quotas in affirmative action. If the new commissioners do not create a majority in support of the President on these issues, at least they can stimulate a wide-ranging debate on the meaning of civil rights, the White House officials said.

International A Common Market summit meeting in Athens failed to agree on a single issue despite six months of preparatory work. The breakdown leaves the 10-nation body on the verge of bankruptcy and facing what officials see as the most difficult crisis in its 26-year history. Among the most divisive issues were proposed cuts in farm spending. (Page A1.) The growing cost of farm subsidies has become a major problem for the U.S. and Japan too. (D6.) Iranian delegates plan to appeal to Arab members at an OPEC meeting to use oil as a weapon against the United States in the struggle in Lebanon. But delegates from other OPEC nations said the appeal was likely to be soundly rejected. (D19.)

MOST dedicated cooks are, by nature, exceedingly acquisitive types, forever on the prowl for unusual foods, new utensils and elegant serving pieces and accessories to enhance the presentation of their creations. This makes Christmas shopping for food lovers a relatively easy task, assuming you are well attuned to the recipient's tastes and styles. There is a bumper crop of cooking and food-related items in New York stores this season, a year in which it seemed every other week heralded the opening of a new specialty food shop or cookware boutique. Copper utensils glint from store windows; the range of new tableware and accessories can overwhelm even the most dogged shopper, and there are enough nicely packaged food gifts to set under every tree in Central Park.

JAMES BEARD, Marcella Hazan and Alfredo Viazzi were among the chefs cooking up a storm, and Henry and Nancy Kissinger, Tom and Meredith Brokaw, Brooke Astor and Brendan Gill were among the 1,000 guests eating up a storm. It all took place last night as part of ''A Night of 100 Dinners,'' one of the most ambitious and far-ranging benefits in the city's history. The dinners, really 95 (five were canceled), were held throughout Manhattan and Brooklyn and in East Hampton, L.I., Irvington, N.Y., and Greenwich, Conn. They added more than $200,000 to the funds of the New York Public Library system. The hosts of the $150-a-person benefits, sponsored by the Friends of the Library, ranged from business executives, professional men and women and socialites to well-known city chefs and restaurateurs. The parties, some informal, others festive or black-tie, were held in settings of all kinds, from private homes and apartments, clubs, hotels and restaurants to an auction house (Christie's) and a specialty store (Henri Bendel).

The unsuccessful plea last week by Pope John Paul II to the Governor of Florida to halt the execution of a convicted murderer was the latest demonstration of a religious alliance against capital punishment that promises to grow stronger with the prospect of more executions. On this issue, the Roman Catholic Church is allied with most mainstream Protestant denominations and most Jewish theologians. Fundamentalist Christians and some other Jewish thinkers endorse the death penalty. The most definitive statement on capital punishment by the Catholic bishops of the United States came in November 1980. By a vote of 145 to 31 with 14 abstentions, they resolved that the penalty should be done away with as ''a manifestation of our belief in the unique worth and dignity of each person from the moment of conception, a creature made in the image and likeness of God.'' In January this year, the Pope called for ''clemency, or pardon, for those condemned to death.''

Every Sunday morning after James D. Dana and his wife, Grace, finish breakfast of croissants and coffee in their Upper East Side apartment, Mr. Dana does his banking. He pulls his Atari 400 computer from his closet, plugs it into his Sony color television set and attaches the computer to his phone. After he punches a few keys, the screen lights up blue with white letters that read: ''Welcome to Pronto - The Home Information System.'' Pronto is the Chemical Bank's home-banking system.

Castle & Cooke Inc., the Honolulu- based food, real estate and manufacturing conglomerate, wants Dr Pepper for its summertime earnings and management expertise in the soft- drink industry, company officials and securities analysts say. The Hawaiian company made its $560 million bid for the Dallas-based Dr Pepper Monday through a new investment group, the DPCC Acquisition Corporation. The initials stand for Dr Pepper and Castle & Cooke. It was undeterred by a definitive takeover agreement for $512.5 million that Dr Pepper had signed with another investment group the day before. And it apparently was not put off by a decline in Dr Pepper's earnings in the last year, as it slipped from third to fourth place nationally behind Seven- Up, Pepsi and Coke.

Metromedia Inc., a major broadcasting chain, said yesterday that four of its top executives, in partnership with an investment firm, had offered to purchase the company for about $1.6 billion. It would be the most ever paid for a broadcasting company. The purchase would turn Metromedia from a Big Board-listed concern into a privately held enterprise. The offer consists of cash and notes with an estimated value of $43.50 a share. News of the proposal pushed the stock up $9.875 yesterday, to $37.325, in active trading. At the company's request, trading had been suspended by the New York Stock Exchange on Monday in expectation of an announcement.