What was going on when I was born?

With the Lebanese Government under severe strain and United States Middle East policy in considerable disarray, President Reagan found himself caught today in a crossfire of competing pressures from Israel and moderate Arab leaders. Although the Administration is trying to persuade all sides that the President's decision last week to pull back American marines from Beirut does not signal any shift in policy, both Arab and Israeli officials said they sensed that American policy was in flux after setbacks in Lebanon. Room to Maneuver Shrinking That perception has raised both anxieties and competing efforts to influence the future course of American diplomacy, and thus has limited the Administration's room for maneuver. American officials tacitly acknowledge that the Reagan Administration has few alternatives and little control in the deteriorating situation in Lebanon.

Vice President Bush met with Konstantin U. Chernenko today and said afterward that the new Soviet leader agreed on the need ''to place our relationship upon a more constructive path.'' Mr. Bush said he had delivered a letter from President Reagan to Mr. Chernenko, with whom he met after Yuri V. Andropov's funeral. The Vice President declined to divulge the letter's contents, but said ''it conveyed the President's determination to move forward in all areas of our relationship with the Soviets, and our readiness for concrete, productive discussions in every one of them.'' Mr. Bush also declined to go into details of his conversation with Mr. Chernenko, who was accompanied by Foreign Minister Andrei A. Gromyko.

The stock market abruptly changed direction yesterday following its five- week slump and rose sharply, with the depressed blue-chip and technology issues leading the advance. The Dow Jones industrial average ended the session ahead 13.71 points, to 1,163.84, after closing at 1,150.13, its lowest level in 10 months, on Monday. In the overall market, advancing issues on the New York Stock Exchange outnumbered those that fell by almost a 5-to-3 ratio. On Monday, losers led winners by almost 3 to 1.

The Publishing column in Weekend on Feb. 3 misidentified the publisher of ''The One Minute Manager.'' It is Berkley Books.

A brief article in Sports Pages last Wednesday explaining the Olympic hockey competition incorrectly described the pairings in the medal round.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 1984 The Economy Retail sales, led by autos and department stores, rose a healthy 2.2 percent in January after a flat performance in December. Better weather helped sales to post their largest monthly gain since May. (Page D1.) Sales increases at retail stores in the New York metropolitan area were less impressive. (D6.)

Syrian-backed Druse militiamen inflicted a major defeat today on Lebanese Army units in the mountains southeast of Beirut. It was the second severe setback in eight days for the army, the barometer of President Amin Gemayel's prospects. After 18 hours of ground fighting, artillery duels and air strikes, the army's Fourth Brigade said it had been forced to abandon key positions along a ridge line overlooking the Lebanese capital and was regrouping at the coastal town of Khalde. Druse officials said that Khalde itself had fallen, but there was no independent confirmation of this. U.S. Warships Open Fire United States naval vessels off the Lebanese coast fired about 45 rounds tonight, witnesses said, but in the earlier fighting there was little apparent American intervention to protect the beleaguered Government forces in their battle with Druse militiamen.

''No one underestimates the seriousness of the differences between our two nations.

IT was a friend of consummate good taste who told me about Gene Hovis. Here is a cook who can make pasta with panache, he said, or turn out a wondrous fish mousse. And his white wine sauces are classics. ''But,'' he added, ''his soul food, what he calls 'down home' cooking, will leave you begging for more.'' Mr. Hovis, I was told, gives small, memorable dinner parties in his midtown Manhattan apartment, where he sets his dining-room table with marvelous old linen tablecloths, fine china and silver.

A woman went to Beth Israel Medical Center in Manhattan for an abortion. When it was done, the doctors told her she had just given birth to a daughter. The child, though seriously brain-damaged, was saved by new techniques of caring for extremely premature infants, and the techniques get better every year. The number of children surviving abortions is still tiny, and their chances of leading healthy lives are still small, but they are posing extraordinarily troubling problems for doctors and hospital administrators. In effect, medical technology has leaped beyond both the law on abortion and the assumptions of medical ethics. At many hospitals, policies have been thrown into turmoil.

President Reagan sought the help of both President Hosni Mubarak of Egypt and King Hussein of Jordan today to begin negotiations with Israel on what he called ''an exchange of territory for peace.'' But in statements after an unusual meeting of the three leaders at the White House, Administration officials acknowledged that no steps were taken that might help start negotiations with Israel on the future of the West Bank. In fact, the White House dissociated itself from an appeal by Mr. Mubarak that the United States immediately open a ''direct dialogue'' with the Palestine Liberation Organization on the West Bank and other issues. Mubarak Praises Arafat ''The Palestinian people are entitled to your support and understanding,'' Mr. Mubarak said as Mr. Reagan stood at his side. ''There is no substitute for a direct dialogue with them through their chosen representative, the P.L.O.''

Picture captions on the Style page yesterday for a white trench coat by Drizzle and a classic Burberry lined raincoat were misplaced. The Burberry was on the left, the trench coat on the right.