What was going on when I was born?

In the 14 months that the United States Army trained the Lebanese armed forces, American officers continually sent optimistic reports on the program's progress back to Washington, according to senior Pentagon and Administration officials. The reports stressed that recruiting had exceeded expectations and that the recruits were intelligent and eager, the officials said. Most of the progress reports failed to discuss in any detail the doubts and uncertainties many of the American officers involved had about the army's ability to fight, the officials said. A Question of Readiness In an interview last month, for example, one senior Pentagon officer who was directly involved in the training program said, ''I can't say yes, and I can't say no,'' on the question of whether the Lebanese Army could hold up in battle.

A retired judge, the Bronx District Attorney and state officials traded accusations yesterday over their handling of a 24-year- old man charged with murdering a police officer and wounding two other officers while free on parole. The suspect, George Acosta, left prison in 1982 after a three-member committee of the State Board of Parole voted unanimously to free him. He had served 5 years and 1 month of a 5-to-15-year sentence in a Bronx manslaughter case; 20 months of it overlapped an earlier sentence for attempted robbery. One of the committee members was Wilhelmina E. Holliday, recently appointed deputy commissioner in charge of community affairs of the New York City Police Department.

Amin Gemayel informed his enemies that he will cancel the 1983 accord with Israel in exchange for their agreeing to begin reconciliation talks with his Government. Senior Government officials said the Lebanese President realized that the United States could not save his deteriorating Government and army with military support. (Page A1, Column 6.) American marines will begin moving from the Beirut airport to ships offshore in two or three days, a senior White House official said. (A14:1-2.)

ZERMATT it's not. You're unlikely to cross skis with royalty or Olympic contenders. And that peak in the background is not the Matterhorn - it's the Ramapo Ridge. Is there skiing after the Alps? Yes. Within two hours' drive of the snowless sidewalks of Manhattan are dozens of areas offering runs ranging from the novice's green circle designation (many) to the expert's black diamond (a few). While clearly no match for the slopes of the Apennines or the Rockies, they're close enough to get to and from in one day, with a full schedule of skiing in between. Most also have lights for night skiing. Though the snow outlook for this weekend is poor, forecasts are for more seasonable winter weather to come. So, here is an overview of skiing possibilities - downhill and cross-country - for the New York day tripper. The areas may be grouped geographically in concentric rings radiating from Manhattan. In the closest circle are those within an hour's drive. Next come those up to two hours away. The farthest circle takes in areas about two and a half hours off, the practicable limit for the day skier. (Road conditions vary, so travel time is approximate.) Beyond lies a host of ski resorts best left for weekend trips.

Friday CHINA ROADS AND SHIPS More than 400 artifacts - the products of 21 centuries of East-West trade - make up ''Silk Roads/China Ships,'' on view today through May 12 at the American Museum of Natural History, Central Park West and 79th Street. The show, organized by the Royal Ontario Museum in Toronto and due to tour the United States, focuses on the goods, technology, art and ideas that traveled the major trade routes between Europe and the Orient from the second century B.C. to the early 20th century. Porcelain, silk, tea paraphernalia, furniture and tomb figures, for instance, are displayed. Suggested admission: $3 ($1.50 for children). Information: 873-1300. MULTIMEDIA AT LA MAMA Since humankind understands only those who speak its own language, alien beings prepare to meet it by learning its rituals, song, language and dance. In so doing, they reveal how ridiculous humans can look. It happens in ''A Race,'' by Ping Chong, a production that includes film, slides and neon lighting, and that will open tonight at 7:30 at La Mama E.T.C, 74A East Fourth Street, with a cast of 22 dancers, singers and actors. Mr. Chong, who has collaborated with the choregrapher and composer Meredith Monk, won an Obie in 1977 for ''Humboldt's Current.'' Tickets: $10. Reservations: 475-7710 or 475-7908. SONGS BY SYMINGTON

Faced with a shortage of young men who want to become priests, the Roman Catholic Diocese of Rochester has decided to reverse a long- standing policy and permit students in its college seminary program to date women. In announcing the new policy, Bishop Matthew H. Clark made it clear that the dating activity would have its limitations and would be done with religious ''guidance.'' ''Dating means many different things,'' said the Rev. James Schwartz, the director of the seminary program, whose participants attend a local college while living in a religious community called Becket Hall. Steady dating, he said, would be discouraged in favor of more casual get-togethers, preferably in groups.

''I want to address a warning that Israel will not tolerate any attempt at re-establishing in Lebanon a terrorist base of operations against Israel or against Israelis in southern Lebanon.'' - Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir of Israel. (A12:3.)

As the Reagan Administration has set in motion the withdrawal of the marines from Beirut, it also seems to have started to distance itself psychologically from the turmoil in Lebanon. Secretary of State George P. Shultz was asked Wednesday night in Boston whether he could see any light at the end of the Lebanon tunnel. ''I can't resist using that old image that the light you see at the end of the tunnel may be the train coming towards you,'' he replied. ''The situation in Lebanon is marked by violence, and is in no way satisfactory and is not at all what we have been trying to help bring about.''

IF New York is the capital of the art world, then 57th Street is its Capitol Hill. There are surely more galleries on 57th Street between Park and Seventh Avenues - upwards of 75 - than in any other quarter-mile strip in the world. Although art in other areas of the city may be bigger or brasher or faster than what is exhibited in midtown, 57th Street remains the artistic and commercial anchor that makes the resistance and defiance of new generations possible. The range and quality of 57th Street galleries could hardly be more evident than it is in the exhibitions of painting there now. Jimmy Ernst, who died last week on the eve of his exhibition at the Armstrong Gallery, 50 West 57th Street, was a special witness. He was born in Cologne in 1920, the son of Max Ernst and Louise Amalia Straus- Ernst, an art historian, journalist and political speechwriter. After the parents separated in 1922, Jimmy Ernst was essentially raised by his mother, who sent him in 1938 to the United States, where he remained and became a United States citizen. During World War II, his mother was deported from Paris to Auschwitz, where she was killed. In 1941, Jimmy Ernst and others helped his celebrated father migrate to the United States.

Unexpected geological conditions in the Nevada desert caused ground to collapse over the site of a nuclear test Wednesday, the manager of the Energy Department's nuclear weapons proving ground said today. He also denied Soviet assertions that the test had violated a Soviet- American agreement to refrain from testing nuclear weapons with an explosive force equivalent to more than 150,000 tons of TNT, or 150 kilotons. ''There's no way in hell that device could have been anywhere near the threshold point,'' said Thomas R. Clark, operations manager of the 1,350- square-mile test facility. Although he said the force of the weapon tested Wednesday was classified, he added that it was considerably lower than 20 kilotons, the explosive yield of the bomb dropped on Nagasaki.

The Transit Authority consistently failed to inspect its subway tracks properly before a series of derailments occurred last year, according to a report issued yesterday by the Inspector General of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority. The report said that on a weekly basis, 10 to 36 percent of the authority's track was not inspected at all and 80 to 95 percent did not receive the required two inspections a week. Based on a review of Transit Authority files, the report also said that the agency had been aware of the need for major work at only 33 of the 512 danger spots that were eventually identified after the derailments prompted a special review of track conditions.

A Beirut dispatch Wednesday misidentified the Navy guided-missile destroyer firing into ''Syrian-controlled territory'' in Lebanon. It was the Claude V. Ricketts.