What was going on when I was born?

The Edmonton Oilers regained some of their offensive touch in the Stanley Cup final tonight, racing to a 4-1 lead and holding on for a 4-3 victory over the Philadelphia Flyers. Edmonton now leads the four-of-seven-game series, 2-1. Wayne Gretzky and Paul Coffey had 4 points each and established playoff scoring records as the Oilers moved within two victories of their second consecutive championship. The Oilers took a 2-0 lead in the first 85 seconds and were ahead by 4-1 until the Flyers rallied in the third period. The Flyers cut the lead to 4-2 with 10 minutes 52 seconds left when Mark Howe knocked in a rebound of Rick Tocchet's slap shot from the right point. And with 5:34 left, Brian Propp cut the deficit to one with a shot from a difficult angle on the right side.

Just a few decades ago, professional music-making in the United States was concentrated in a few large cities, most of them on the East Coast. Today, regional dispersion is a fact of our musical life. New performing arts facilities spring up everywhere. Important symphony orchestras and opera companies exist all over the country. The growth of sophisticated smaller groups - chamber-music and recital series, early- and new-music specialists and the like -follows close behind. Such expansion brings with it not just the perhaps expectable growing pains, but a whole new host of problems and prospects, as talks with music leaders around the country make abundantly clear. There are apprehensions about the overextension of our musical resources, concern whether distinctive regional styles are being eradicated, and fears that incessant ''outreach,'' both geographic and demographic, may dilute the quality that a smaller, more sophisticated audience once demanded. Yet the underlying feeling around the country remains optimistic. American music seems to be fulfilling democracy's mandate, reaching ever outward without any perceptible lowering of standards.

A suicide driver rammed a bomb-laden car into the motorcade of the Kuwaiti leader today, killing himself, two bodyguards and a passer-by in an unsuccessful assassination attempt, Kuwaiti officials said. A caller saying he represented the shadowy terrorist group known as Islamic Holy War took responsibility for the attack. The group has demanded the release of 17 convicted terrorists from Kuwaiti prisons in exchange for at least four Americans and two Frenchmen kidnapped in Lebanon. Islamic Holy War has issued a crescendo of threats in recent weeks, including vows to attack American diplomats and a warning that it would open ''the largest military operation'' the United States ''has ever seen.''

Pope John Paul II consecrated 28 cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church today in an outdoor ceremony grand in pageantry and resonant in tradition. From his throne in front of St. Peter's Basilica, the 65-year-old Pope received the men, natives of 19 countries, one by one as they climbed the red-carpeted steps of the largest church in Christendom and knelt before him. The Pope bestowed his blessing and gave to each the two red silk hats symbolic of high station in the church: a skullcap and the square-ridged crown called a biretta. Giving a ring to each of the cardinals, the Pope declared, ''Receive the ring from the hand of Peter and know that with the love of the Prince of the Apostles, your love of the church is strengthened.'' Among the 28 men consecrated today were the archbishops of some of the largest Roman Catholic dioceses in the world, including John Cardinal O'Connor of New York and Bernard Cardinal Law of Boston.

In ''Arms and the Man,'' George Bernard Shaw debunks the myths of war as noble and heroic and of love as chivalric and uplifting. His ideas were controversial when the play was written in 1895, but today, after two World Wars, Sigmund Freud and the dawn of the nuclear age, they are no longer startling. Shaw, nearly a century later, is an iconoclast whose icons are already largely broken. ''At the time it was written, the ideas of war and love and gentlemanly conduct were fairly exalted,'' said John Malkovich, who is directing the production of the play that will open Thursday at the Circle in the Square. ''At that time it was novel to portray a soldier as someone who carried chocolate instead of cartridges in his belt and didn't go along with knee-jerk patriotism - a mercenary who regarded soldiering merely as a job. Today we know pretty much that war is terrible and that people who survive suffer painful traumas that last many years.'' But in exploring the romantic myths of war and love, Shaw also raised questions about the nature of masculinity and femininity that are still relevant today. What is it to be a man or woman in the modern world?

The United States, the Soviet Union and Japan have been negotiating on air safety to avoid a repetition of the downing of a South Korean airliner by a Soviet fighter in 1983, American officials said today. They said ''some progress'' had been made in the talks, which center on the northwest Pacific. The latest round of negotiations ended Friday in Moscow, the officials said. No announcement was made, in response to a Soviet request for as little publicity as possible. Unannounced rounds were previously held in Tokyo in February and here in March.

THE approval by the House of Representatives last week of a 1986 budget package was confirmation that the Congress was moving seriously toward deficit reduction - and by means that include a freeze on military budget increases. It was also a striking expression of a rare phenomenon in a usuaally fractious House: Democratic unity. The 258-to-170 vote, with only 15 Democrats opposed, was all the more remarkable because it was orchestrated by the Budget Committee's new and heretofore untested chairman, William H. Gray 3d, Democrat of Pennsylvania. The House, whose package would reduce the deficit by $56 billion in 1986, now must go to a conference committee to seek a compromise with the Senate, which passed its own $56 billion deficit-reduction plan two weeks ago. The House heads into the conference with a strong political hand, which could lead to difficulties when it meets a tough-minded Senate.

Fernando Valenzuela outpitched Dwight Gooden and won the duel of the titans yesterday, as the Los Angeles Dodgers overpowered the reeling Mets, 6-2, and sent them to their fourth straight defeat. It was a rousing game before 40,052 fans in Shea Stadium and a national television audience, and it was probably decided on one pitch: a change-up that Gooden threw in the sixth inning to Greg Brock, with the Mets clinging to a 1-0 lead and Pedro Guerrero on first. Brock whacked it against the right-field balcony for a home run, and the tide turned from the 20-year-old Gooden to the 24-year-old Valenzuela. Brock later clipped Doug Sisk for a three-run homer in the ninth, giving him some extravagant numbers in recent days: He has only 17 hits, but six are home runs, and he has hit four of those in his last three games. He drove in five of the six runs yesterday, helped Valenzuela beat the Mets for the first time in nearly three years and deepened the Mets' worst tailspin of the season.

''WHEN my kids go to a party,'' said Archibald Montgomery 3d, headmaster of Kent Place School in Summit, ''I say, 'If you take liquor or drugs, I'm going to dismiss you. You can say that your headmaster is a Fascist.' '' Kent Place is one of the many private boarding and day schools in New Jersey that have tightened their policies on drug use in the last year. Another is Peddie School in Hightstown, which for many years gave a second chance to any student - boy or girl - caught using drugs or alcohol. The violator was put on probation; if the student showed an exemplary record for eight weeks, he or she was taken off probation.

At first, everything seemed in order: a walk with the bases loaded and two outs in the ninth, a run to decide the game, an 8-7 Oakland A's victory over the Yankees. But something disrupted the celebrating in the Oakland Coliseum. When Dave Righetti, the Yankee relief pitcher, walked Steve Henderson to force home Carney Lansford, it started an odd series of events and an argument that resulted in Billy Martin's decision to protest the game. The chaos was caused when Dave Kingman, who was on first base, began to walk toward the dugout before touching second on the bases-loaded walk.

Fighting that has been raging between Palestinian and Shiite Moslem forces for a week in the south of Beirut spread to eastern Lebanon today. The police said four people were killed when Palestinian guerrillas clashed with militiamen of Amal, the mainstream Shiite movement, in the area around Baalbek, in the Bekaa region about 40 miles east of Beirut. Amal has provided the main force that has been trying to seize control of Sabra, Shatila and Burj al Brajneh, three Palestinian refugee districts in the southern outskirts of Beirut. The Amal fighters are backed by a mostly Shiite unit of the Lebanese Army, the Sixth Brigade.

A HORSE and a race-car driver can become very rich this holiday weekend, symbolizing the blossoming of a new gimmick on the American sports scene - bonus money, instant-wealth earmarked to guarantee the appearance of an attractive competitor who gives an event charisma and credibility. This is not a mere $100,000 or so being bandied about. This is not a $50,000 bonus for winning the Cy Young Award or a $10,000 present for a hockey player scoring 30 goals. This is for up to $2 million. Cash. Since Robert Brennan, the innovative president of First Jersey Securities Inc., turned his attention to horse racing and bought Garden State Park, he has shocked the racing establishment. He lured Spend a Buck, the Kentucky Derby winner, to his track for the Jersey Derby tomorrow. It was only the second time since 1959 that the Derby winner failed to run in the Preakness. Brennan did it in a simple way - by offering money. ''I think that sports in the last several years has been recognized as being a business, and this is a manifestation of the reward for the entreprenurial mentality,'' says Brennan, who savors a good fight against what he considers entrenched interests. In fact, his career of battling the entrenched interests in the security business has brought close scrutiny from the Securities and Exchange Commission.