December 10, 1986

The pamphlet is called ''The December Dilemma'' and it has just been issued to alert public-school principals and teachers to an uncomfortable predicament faced at Christmastime by children who are not Christian. Pupils are sometimes asked to sing songs or join in celebrations about religious figures they do not acknowledge. If they join in the singing, they may feel disloyal to their homes; if they refrain, they may feel like outsiders. The pamphlet, published by the American Jewish Committee, is for schools that have Jewish, Muslim, Hindu and other non-Christian children. It suggests that plays, songs and decorations be chosen carefully to eliminate those with overt religious references.

SOME of the most spectacular fashions of the last 200 years - from elegantly embroidered 18th-century pannier dresses for the minuet to Day-Glo minidresses of the 1960's for the twist - have been assembled at the Metropolitan Museum of Art for its Costume Institute's newest exhibition, ''Dance.'' The clothes, previewed Monday night at a black-tie dinner, reflect the social history of the Western world. The previews have become one of the gala events of the New York social season and this one was, as usual, divided into two parts. More than 850 people paid $750 a ticket for dinner (scallops, lamb and poached pears). Close to 2,000 others paid $125 to dance, to see the exhibition, which opens Dec. 17, and to check out what the earlier arrivals were wearing.

Contraceptives should be distributed free or at low cost to teen-agers to combat the problem of teen-age pregnancy, the National Research Council said today. The council also said in a report that teen-agers should be encouraged to seek parental consent for abortions but not required to do so. The report by the council, a Congressionally chartered organization that is the working arm of the National Academy of Sciences, was based on a two-year study by a panel of outside experts, including doctors, public health experts, sociologists and demographers. 'Aggressive Public Education' It concluded that the birth control pill was the ''safest and most effective'' contraceptive for sexually active teen-agers and recommended ''aggressive public education to dispel myths about health risks for young women'' who use the pill. The report also supported further trials of school-based contraceptive clinics to attack the teen-age pregnancy problem, a proposal denounced once again by Secretary of Education William J. Bennett.

After winning a bigger and bigger say in Eastern Air Lines' management under the embattled leadership of Frank Borman, union leaders are finding themselves with virtually no say at all under the carrier's new owner, the Texas Air Corporation, and its cost-cutting chairman, Frank Lorenzo. Long feared by the unions for his successful battle with labor at Continental Airlines, Mr. Lorenzo has been moving to consolidate his control of Eastern without their advice. The unions have been ''completely stonewalled,'' said Charles E. Bryan, the leader of Eastern's machinists. Mr. Bryan complained that although he had offered to work with Mr. Lorenzo to cut costs, he had been ignored by the new chairman, whose $676 million takeover bid was accepted last February. Stung by the cold shoulder, the union leaders and their advisers will hold brainstorming sessions in coming weeks to decide how to deal with Mr. Lorenzo, according to Mr. Bryan. A crucial test of power could come late next year, when the machinists' contract is up for renewal.

New York would be a more peaceful place if everyone wore a clear quartz crystal over the solar plexus, Luna Crystal Devin was saying the other day at a gem and mineral show in Manhattan. ''I wear one and so does Jonathan,'' she said, nodding to the baby asleep on her shoulder. ''My apartment is filled with 45-pound pieces of crystal, but they're not just pretty rocks.'' Ms. Devin, a television actress, is part of a new and esoteric movement whose adherents ascribe paranormal powers to quartz crystals and other so-called New Age gemstones.