June 13, 1996

WHEN Joseph Steuer, a Manhattan correspondent for The Hollywood Reporter, came home one recent evening, he was confronted with a nasty piece of cat burglary that hit, he felt, below the belt. His old showerhead was gone, replaced with a stingy low-flow model by a stealthy superintendent. "My old showerhead wasn't even that great," he said ruefully, "but this is Chinese water torture."

A VOWING a passion for trees of awesome girth and rarity is a means of gaining social cachet these days. Soaring crimson king maples and golden honey locusts are among the new status symbols, giving a surprising new meaning to "tree climbing." "It's pretty funny hearing so many wealthy guys bragging about the size of their weeping copper beeches and taxus yews," said Martha Stewart, trowel in hand, weeding among dozens of priapic purple aliums beside her swimming pool in East Hampton, L.I., last week.

Senate Republicans elected Trent Lott of Mississippi as their leader today, putting the leadership of both houses of Congress in the hands of conservative Southern Republicans a generation younger than the men they replaced. It is the first time ever that two Republicans from the South have led both chambers of Congress. And the last time two Southerners held both posts was in 1960 when two Texas Democrats, Lyndon B. Johnson in the Senate and Sam Rayburn in the House, had leadership roles. Representative Newt Gingrich of Georgia was elected Speaker of the House after Republicans won control in 1994.

For years, New York prosecutors have complained that the search and seizure rulings of the state's highest court too often favored criminals over law enforcement. Their criticisms have been given fresh energy by Gov. George E. Pataki, who has not only railed against the court, but also proposed legislation to undo some decisions. Last week, the Governor found a new case around which to build support for his bills, as a state appellate court reversed a Manhattan murder conviction, saying that a search by troopers of a van in which a dead body was found was illegal. The appellate court relied on a 1992 ruling by the Court of Appeals that is among those the Governor has attacked.

Consider it the case of the guinea pigs that roared. One cried, "I am Rodent!" and the other, "You're nuts -- Rodentia is dead!" In a bluntly worded new report, researchers from Italy and Sweden have declared that the guinea pig, famed as a child's pet and medicine's sacrificial lamb, is not now and never has been a rodent. That conclusion may sound like a rather narrow scientific matter, but in fact the implications of the guinea pig's unmoored status are profound, calling into question the entire concept of rodenthood.

Mothers Against Drunk Driving yesterday urged passage of an Assembly bill that would lower the blood-alcohol level for being legally drunk from 0.10 percent to 0.08 percent. A 170-pound man would reach that level in one hour after four drinks on an empty stomach, a spokeswoman for the organization said. According to studies by the National Safety Council, the risk of a fatal automobile accident doubles for each 0.02 percent increase in blood alcohol level, said the spokeswoman, Donna Frandsen.

U.S. Judges Strike Down Parts of On-Line Law A panel of Federal judges blocked the application of key parts of a law intended to regulate indecent speech on the Internet, calling the computer network "the most participatory marketplace of mass speech that this country -- and indeed the world -- has yet seen." The judges granted a temporary restraining order that prohibits the Justice Department from enforcing, or even investigating, violations of the Communications Decency Act's ban on indecent speech. [Page A1.] Pickens to Step Down at Mesa T. Boone Pickens, having defended Mesa from an attack by hostile shareholders, said he would step down as chairman and chief executive. The move came at the request of Richard Rainwater, the financier, whom Mr. Pickens had brought in to protect the company from the dissident investors. [D4.]

When it was introduced in New Jersey in 1972, no-fault automobile insurance was attacked by trial lawyers but hailed by the insurance industry as a way to reduce rates and lawsuits. But now several lawmakers -- including Speaker Jack Collins of the Assembly, have introduced legislation to repeal no-fault. State Senator John P. Scott, Republican of Lyndhurst, the sponsor of the latest bill, said yesterday that New Jersey drivers would save as much as $200 a year in insurance fees if only those people who bore no responsibility for an accident were allowed to sue. His measure would also eliminate mandatory auto insurance, which he called "terribly unfair."

The State Department of Commerce criticized the Camden Urban Enterprise Zone program yesterday and suspended its financing, department officials told The Associated Press in Trenton.

The House of Representatives approved a compromise 1997 budget resolution setting the Government's path toward a balanced budget in six years but also promising tax cuts and easing the fiscal blows to scores of domestic programs. Republicans used the 1997 budget resolution, the broad outline of $1.6 trillion in Government spending, to lay the groundwork for their plan to balance the budget by 2002.

Mark R. Smith was following the hottest trend in the auto industry two years ago when he plastered low, fixed prices on the cars and trucks at his family's Ford dealership here and banned haggling by his sales staff. But the result was not what the auto executives in Detroit or the high-priced dealership consultants had predicted. For every customer who came in eager to dispense with the traditional, time-consuming and often distasteful dickering over the sticker price, there were four or five more who insisted on trying to knock several hundred dollars off the price. When the salespeople refused to budge, the customers stalked off.

The New Jersey Turnpike will set aside a lane to encourage car and van pooling, the Turnpike Authority announced yesterday. Beginning in December, the far left lane of the outer roadway between Woodbridge and Newark will be open only to vehicles with three or more occupants at certain times, Lynn Fleeger, a spokeswoman for the turnpike, said. The restriction would apply to the northbound side only from 6 A.M. to 9 A.M., and the southbound side from 4 P.M. to 7 P.M., Ms. Fleeger said. Adding high-occupancy vehicle lanes was a condition imposed by the Army Corps of Engineers before it approved building a fourth lane, she said.