Though Poles Apart, Clinton And Lott 'Hear Each Other'
Pres Clinton and Sen Trent Lott, majority leader, are expected to work together to reach agreement on knotty issues such as balanced budget, Medicare and cuts in capital gains tax; those who know both men say they are both realists and pragmatists first, and ideologues second; say Lott was humbled by public backlash against Republicans over two Government shutdowns, and determined that more gridlock would do his party no good, and Clinton is now striving for respected place in history books; Clinton and Lott are said to talk directly on regular basis; photo (M)